Family coming and old Favorite Thing post

The Watkins are coming tomorrow!!!!! They're trip will be almost 2 weeks and they'll be in Oregon with Laura's family for a week and with us about that long too. We are going to be able to celebrate 3 of our kids birthday's together and Easter. We have celebrated Easter with them for the last 8 years!

In honor of their visit I remembered a post I wrote in December that I never had time to post. It is #7 in my list of Favorite Things. I won't post the whole thing here but I did want to showcase the awesome picture Lee drew and painted for us before we left. The picture does not do justice to amazing it is!

This picture was Lee's gift to our family. It is full of all the things special about our life here in Maplewood...the ECC, The Post, the train, Rocket Ship park, and even the arch way in the back.

This gift is priceless. We love it!

-----old post here-------
We love our Maplewood too. This is how a normal weekday could look like: Walk the kids to the end of our street, play "Crush the Castle" on the steps of the church while we wait for the bus. Drive 10 minutes to drop off Gray and Annabelle at preschool. Stop at any number of coffee shops or run errands at the plethora of stores that are all 10 minutes from my house. We are 10-15 minutes from every neighborhood. I love how central we are.

After school, kids ride bikes while I sit on front porch with the neighbors. When Brian gets home he might walk to the church parking lot at the end of the street, otherwise known as the "Skate Park." The kids love to ride fast in the big open area.

Or if it is Wednesday, we might walk (the kids ride their bikes) to Schlafly to visit the weekly Farmer's Market. The kids plan to get cookies and we get a beer and sit outside listening to live music.

Or, we might decide to eat in the backyard. I'll yell from my back porch to Kristie next door and see if her family wants to bring their dinner over. The Watkins will come out and the kids run crazy in our humongous back yard.

On the weekend, we might walk up to Foundation Grounds. The kids bring their backpacks with books and colors and we might actually get a few minutes of quiet reading in.
______________

Fun to look back and remember

Favorite Thing #6

The Sound of the Watkins screen door

This is a difficult post to write. I have been putting it off. It is impossible to describe the incredible gift it has been to share a house with my cousin Lee, his wife Laura, and their 3 incredible children. We have gotten 5 years of sharing life together and I think it is a little of what heaven will be like.

It hasn't always been perfect. We have conflicted. But that is part of what has made it so wonderful. I did not grow up with siblings so I did not have that relationship that provides some safe conflict. Laura has been that sister for me. We have learned how to be honest with each other, not hide our hurts, forgive each other, be gracious, and be angry. Laura has seen ugly sides of me that only family has seen and she still loves me.

We have shared all three pregnancies together (two in this house). When Grayson had colic and I thought I was going to loose my mind, she would take him and walk him around even though she also had a newborn. She would text me in the middle of the night knowing we were both up with the babies. When we would walk the neighborhood while pregnant, sit by the kiddie pool in the driveway, and pass the older kids between the houses.

The adult friendship we have with Lee and Laura has brought such joy to our days. They have been wonderful examples and models to us of patient parenting. They are available for all kinds of favors. They are instant friends if you want someone to walk with, build a fire in the backyard, watch a movie with, drink a beer with, share a meal with, pray with, etc.

The friendship among our kids is not comparable. This is when I have trouble typing. I have known my husband to cry only a handful of times in his lifetime. I'm not sure I've ever seen the tears fully come down his face until the last two weeks. All four of us have cried when we think about this loss for our kids.

Currently, Tyler and Casey are probably playing with each other on the school playground as they find each other almost everyday at recess. They ride the bus together and still want to spend everyday with each other after school. When Tyler has something exciting, the first person he wants to share it with is Casey. They share the same love of Plants vs. Zombies, Angry Birds, Star Wars, Legos, Pokemons, Hero Factories, etc. They have plans to be inventors when they grow up and are always making crazy plans.

Any knowledge Annabelle has of girly things come from Abi and Emma. Her favorite person in the world is Auntie Laura. Grayson has such a soft spot for Uncle Lee and thinks he is the funniest person on earth. Abi Mae and I have a very special bond over all things fancy and special.

More than half the days of the week, our children are in each other's houses. Not only is it such a help to us, the kids love it. I don't know how I would have survived the last 5 years of young kids without them downstairs.

There is still so much more to be said. I don't feel like words can give ample explanation to the awesomeness that is sharing a house with the Watkins. I guess that is why I pick the sound of their front door. Its loud and The Landlord needs to oil it, proving they are very gracious to our limits. It opens frequently for the students they love on and neighbors they welcome. When it opens I am reminded of life outside of myself, that I am not alone, that there is always someone who loves me close by.

The Watkins family just left my mom's house tonight after sharing Christmas leftovers and showing off presents. It is just so normal to be together. The blessing is they are family and while our relationship changes it will never end. That is great comfort tonight.

good-bye memories

I do not have the energy or time to give deserved attention to all the good-byes we've gotten to have over the last few weeks. Here are pics of some of them...

Our friends hosted a going away party at Llewelyn's Pub last week. I wasn't sure I would enjoy it knowing it was a "last." But it was a ton of fun. It went way too fast and I didn't get to talk to everyone near as much as I wanted, but it was a great way to at least look people in the face and hug their necks.


These three girls pictured below were women I worked with while I was pregnant with Tyler. We all had our babies within weeks of each other. We have stayed close all these years later and I would be a different mom without them. We got to have one last "girls night in" where we share our lives and stay up way later than we want to. They gave me this picture framed (this is a picture of a picture so it is blurry). Most of you know I did not have pretty pregnancies. I let the girls know they are good enough friends they really should have let me know I had no business wearing a halter top.


I have been blessed with wonderful girlfriends. We have had dinners with friends and our last two house groups. Many celebrations with the Watkins (this is another long post that will come soon). I had other girls nights, coffees and dinners that I will always remember.

This Saturday, the Jani5 had a "St. Louis Day." The kids decided what they wanted to do for our last outing in St. Louis. We ended up at the Science Center, lunch at Llewelyn's in the Central West End (Brian and mine's very first favorite restaurant), and then the Chesterfield mall for the bungee trampoline and carousel. We came home and had a boys night and girls night. Annabelle and I went downstairs to the Watkins for a night of crafts, nail painting, dressing-up, and dancing.

The boys had friends come and spend the night. There was wrestling, farting, burping, mooning, yelling, chasing, and video games. It was shocking to me how much it felt like a group of junior high boys. It was redeemed at night when they snuggled in their sleeping bags and listened to a story (most of them still with snuggables to sleep with) and wanted to be tucked in. In the picture below they are trying to wrestle me down from getting across the living room. Four of them tried and I still made it. Hah! That's what you get for calling your mom weak!


On Sunday night, before the movers came to pack up the house, we had a casual dinner with our friends that have lived all parts of our life with us for the last 7-10 years. It was wonderful! I was tempted to cancel because I was feeling like I needed to get more organized before they movers packed things and I would never know where to find something when we got to our new house. I was especially concerned about all the toys in the playroom. I was quickly swayed when Brian reminded me how much this meant to us. Here is a picture of how the play room looked at the end of the night:

It was totally worth it!!

We all prayed together (kids and all). The adults were even able to crowd in and sit at one table together to share a meal (thank you X-box Kinnect). I will never regret that I spent more time with people than filing away that box of papers or finding that Barbie shoe. I will try to remind myself of that when that box of papers is still in my office a year from now.

As I am reflecting now I realize this is celebrating life as its given.

Thank you Lord that you graciously allowed me to embrace this painful season. I have been tempted many times to withdraw and leave without experiencing the pain of good-byes. I have been tempted to prioritize control over relationship. You have allowed me to be able to leave with a full heart.

The boxes are packed

I am sitting in my leather chair by the window in my bedroom for the last time. This is another one of my favorite spots in my house. Today, however, I am surrounded by boxes. The movers will be here any minute.

I can't go back now. Many times in this process I've wondered if we could cancel the whole thing and change our minds. That is not going to happen. I am really leaving. I am really saying good-bye.

The last few weeks have been a blessing. I feel like I have gotten to really say good-bye. My biggest prayer was for time to give closure and value to my friendships. I am so thankful not to have been so busy to miss out on those memories. I am sure they will carry me through the next challenging months.

not one of my favorite things

The for sale sign went in the yard yesterday and the movers are here today packing up. I will say I am extremely thankful to have Microsoft paying for our house to be packed. Yet, while I am thankful, it feels very surreal.

I can be a control freak at times and I have found myself hovering over the packers this morning. I want to know what is in each box, how they wrapped it, where the box is going to go in the new house. I'm sure I've been annoying.

So, now I am upstairs warming up and I don't think I'm going to go back to the basement. Most everything will get to Seattle. Some things will be broken. Some things will be missing. Some of the Watkins stuff will probably end up going with us. Some of our stuff will probably get left behind. My new house will be crazy and unorganized for a long time no matter how I color code the boxes. I can choose to relinquish control.

I am only surviving this whole transition because I have to keep letting go of my control (or pointless pursuit of it).

Now...to figure out what to do with unexpected time this morning.

Favorite Thing #3

The Farells

Last night we went to Joe and Carol Farells house for Ribs. My children know the Farells as the house with the Ribs. This started from a night two summers ago when we sat out on the Farells' gorgeous back patio and my kids put down an impressive amount of ribs. We were all a little amazed.

We have known the Farells since we started at Riverside Church 10 years ago. I taught the preschool Sunday class with them every Sunday for a couple of years. We co-led a house group with them for a couple of years. Joe and Brian have served together as Elders of our church for over six years, Carol and I used to be in a morning Bible study together, and Brian and Carol served closely on the pastoral search committee together. We are just a few years older than their kids but we view them as great friends.

When you first meet Joe, with his deep ominous voice, you might get the impression he is this big tough guy with a hard shell. He is really just a big softy. He always greets me with a "hi sweetie," bear hug, and often a kiss on the head.

Carol has the gift of organization, hospitality, service and humor. When we were in Bible study together, we laughed at her discomfort with questions that dug deep in the heart and now she will walk boldly into conflict or discomfort if it will bring God glory and show someone love. About three years ago I sat down next to Carol at a Women's Retreat and she could tell that I was not myself, I was at a low point. Something happened in Carol's heart and it was as if she just made a decision that it was her job to care for me.

I distinctly remember that time because, since then, I have never felt so pursued by someone as I have by Carol. When our family entered into the GAPS protocol, therefore restricting our diets and increasing the amount of time in the kitchen by 6 times, she walked closely beside us. She cooked for us monthly, researched new recipes and adapted them for us, and helped others figure out how to cook for us.

One day at Church, she came up and declared that she wanted my children to really know her. She made up her mind that she would make sure my kids knew her and felt safe with her. She and Joe then started having us over for dinner once a month. This was so huge at the time because most people were so afraid of our restricted diet that we were rarely invited for dinner.

Very quickly, my kids began to look forward to nights at the Farells'...we all did. It is easy to feel treated in their home. Last night was no exception. The fire was burning high, Christmas music was playing, we had wine poured for us before we sat at the kitchen bar, the kids had games and blocks spread out on the kitchen floor, and we all felt at home.

As we sat at the table finishing our meal, Tyler asks Mr. Farell if he can sit in his lap. Brian and I look at each other, a little surprised that Tyler would be that affectionate. Joe, is delighted and then Tyler asks if he'll cuddle with him. The big teddy bear cries. We all do. Tyler understands this is the last time we will be at their house. I understand what it means for kids to be known and pursued by adults other than their family. They feel welcomed, safe, and loved.

Thank you Joe and Carol. Thank you for realizing the power, influence and impact you can have in other's lives. Thank you for deciding to love and pursue our family. My kids will have a greater chance of believing that they are valuable, worthy, and special because they have been viewed that way by you.

We love you!

Favorite Thing #5

My Bedroom

Ohh, I love to be in bed!!! This is the view I have while I'm lying in bed. My dream morning would be to wake up slowly and stay in bed, going in and out of sleep, for another hour, then drink coffee and watch a movie.

The light is amazing in our room (thanks to my brilliant husband who kept the ceiling open so light flows everywhere).

It is so hard to get out of my bed when the light is coming in and the window behind our bed is open. The breeze comes through and when its cold outside I love burrowing down under my covers.

This is the view when I lie on my back. Many of great ideas have been born and problems have been solved while I stare at the angles in our room.

Many weekend mornings I listen as Brian tells the kids over and over to be more quiet cuz mommy is sleeping. I laugh. They have no ability to be quiet.

On school mornings the boys come wake me up and jump in bed for morning snuggles. It took a lot of prayer and by the grace of God I now greet them with open arms in the mornings when they wake me up. Hopefully they won't remember those years when I was sleep deprived and grumpy every morning. I've given up on the idea that they will ever have memories of mommy up before them.

Some afternoons, Annabelle and I nap together. It always takes her a long time to sleep as she looks out the window and talks about the trees and birds.

We have the prettiest Bradford Pear right outside the window. It looks awesome in the fall and even better in the spring full of white flowers.

My most precious memories are of nursing Grayson and Annabelle in the mornings in bed. On a good day when we could stay in bed for a while, I would hug them and never wanted to let go. Hard giggles would bid me to keep tickling and rolling on the bed.

It is hard to think of living in a house where I haven't had babies. It is hard to think of never returning to the house where I had babies. It solidifies that I no longer have any babies. It really did go so fast.

Favorite Thing #4

My Living Room

These are the images I want to remember of my living room. This is where I sit. I nap here. I watch TV here. I pray here. I cry here. I snuggle with my hubby and kids here. I read here.

I love my house. We get so much light because we are on the second and third floors so our windows aren't blocked by trees or other houses. We also get an incredible cross breeze.

I sid on my soft couch and drink my coffee and the breeze chills me as the light fills the room. I snuggle under my brown blanket and fall asleep most afternoons. Grayson wakes from his nap and curls up under the blanket with me until we go get the boys from the bus. My favorite part of my day is usually on this couch.

I look out the window often at my quiet street and feel comforted when the train comes by. It makes me feel a part of the outside world. Many people say our home feels warm when they come in and it makes me want to jump up and down and cheer. That is what I want people to feel when they visit and that is what I think too. I love the feeling of coming home. I don't feel like I need to be anywhere but here.

Favorite Thing #2

MRH ECC

You have to read the above title in the same way you would say M-I-Z...Z-O-U because that is how I read those letters every time I think them. The preschoolers, Kindergarteners and First Graders make up the ECC and chant this at the Fun Run that takes place every year on Halloween.

The whole school walks over to the High School track and classes line up to run a 1/4 mile around the track and receive metals...even siblings get to run.

This is just one of the many activities the school does that promotes a sense of community. Tyler could tell you most of the 1st Graders names (in the whole school district). At events like the fun run, many parents come and I know most of them now.
I love this picture for many reasons. One, I love this rod iron gate. Its new. It reminds me of all the changes the school is making and I love the district for how intense they strive to be innovative and teach outside of the box. Second, I love this because Grayson all my kids feel so comfortable here. The school feels safe and we are free to come whenever we want.

We can play outside in the amazing, natural play space that has climbing structures made from wood, a bridge that crosses that waterfall and creek, three play houses, this list of cool things goes on and on.

We can go see the chickens or walk through the perennial garden or go see the vegetable garden.

One of Tyler's specials during the week is "Seed to Table" where the kids learn all about the garden, animals, chickens, and other sustainability related things all tied into academics. Local food is used in school lunches which are actually healthy.

When we moved to Maplewood, we had no idea we would stay to put our kids in the schools. We discovered quickly how strong the community is here and the strong families that are committed to its success.

I thought we would see all our kids graduate from MRH and reflect on all the stories of kids and families changed while we were here. God has different plans for our family now but I think his plan still continues here. He is moving in this community and I am thankful we were a part of it, even if just for a while.

Favorite Thing #1

MRS. COUNTS

To say I was nervous about Tyler starting Kindergarten would be the understatement of the year. If you know me, I don't need to say anymore. For months before school started, Tyler and I would pray at night about his first teacher. We prayed that she would be "just the right teacher for HIM."

A couple of weeks before school started, this sweet woman with the strongest Southern accent came to our home to meet us all (all the teachers do home visits before the beginning of the year). I could tell right away that she was warm and would love on him in a motherly way.

MRH loops their teachers so kids have the same teacher for 2 years all the way through elementary (another reason the school district is awesome). In just this short time this woman has helped me discover my child. She knows him so well. Early on, she was pointing out to me how he needed routine, didn't like change, and liked to know what the plan was. I was so thankful she could see this in him but where God has used her in our life is to help me see that those traits of Tyler's are not a problem.

She sees that in him and honors it. She doesn't see it as a problem to fix, she is not afraid of, she even knows how to help him to be aware of it. One of the best ways she does this is with a fantastic sense of humor. She can joke with Tyler and help him to feel at ease and not be so hard on himself.

She sends me notes to let me know the character she sees in my son. She points out that he is kind, helpful to others, and thoughtful. She sees her job as a ministry to the children and she takes seriously the fact that she spends more time with these kids than we do.

At our parent-teacher conference this year in November she encouraged us about the move and how to support Tyler in a supernatural way. Brian and I sat there in tears without words to say (well, Brian was teary...I was sobbing) as we both were in awe of how she knew Tyler so well and admonished us with specific ways to help him with this transition and words of faith in Tyler and in God.

"He is strong," she said. "I know he puts on the shy act at first and he is going to be very scared but he can do it. He is so strong and he is going to thrive. Any teacher is going to be so excited to have him."

At the school concert last Thursday, Grayson ran up to "Mrs. Cow--ents" as he calls her, and tackled her. She welcomed him and proceeded to tickle him and Annabelle, picking them up, flipping them over for 10 minutes. As we left she called out, "Bye Miss Annabelle (in her sweet Southern accent that Annabelle's name was meant to sound like), Bye my little man (to Grayson) I love you, Bye my big man (to Tyler) I LOVE you!"

Mrs. Counts, we LOVE you! I am heartbroken that Grayson and Annabelle won't get to have you as their Kindergarten and First Grade teacher too. But, ohhh, am I so thankful that Tyler did. He is a more confident child because of your love, challenge and faith.

Thank You.

And Thank You God for hearing my prayer. I so often forget that you are good. You knew who Tyler needed and you know who he needs now. You will not abandon us. Prepare a place for him in Grand Ridge Elementary.

My favorite things

In 2 weeks my home will be empty and in 3 weeks I will live in Seattle.

I can not even begin to explain how unbelievable this all seems. I am holding it together but I can tell that it is taking extra Grace and prayers...the seams feel tight.

Tyler and I have been filling out a book titled: "My New Home and Me" which is an awesome tool for a kiddo like Ty who likes to know exactly what is ahead of him and also likes to fill in blanks. He fills in things like his old and new address, how long he's lived here, things about his neighborhood, favorite city places, etc. It also has many places for pictures. So, we have given him our old family camera so he can take all the pictures he wants. I asked him to make a list of the pictures he wants to get. Here is his list:

• my friends
• my school
• Mrs. Counts
• Memphis (the Watkins new dog)
• Foundation Grounds
• Jr. High Park (also known in our family as Jane-Ellis Park)
• The Heights Pool
• YMCA
• The house and my room

I am inspired by my seven year old and I am going to take pictures and blog about my favorites, the things that will be the hardest to leave, that I have been so blessed to have experienced.

Stay tuned...

What if we got everything we wanted?

When things don't go the way I expect them, instead of going with the flow, I tend to fight harder for control. This, of course, does not help. If I can't make one thing go my way then I push to make something else go my way. All the while forgetting that I do not need to fight for control. There is another option.

I have approached this move with the knowledge that I needed to let go of expectations. I knew there would be many things once we got there that would be hard and that I would need to be open to accept whatever. I had not thought about how many expectations I had about the move process.

I have a good friend that has moved her family across the world...twice. She is a great source of wisdom for me. She was sharing with me recently how she is learning that expectations are usually never a good thing. They set us up for disappointment and prevent us from seeing the blessing we have in front of us.

My mother-in-law has always said something similar about expectations in relationships. She reflects on how most arguments and relationship strife come from unmet (and often unfair or uncommunicated) expectations.

I believe these wise women in my life and I want to learn from them. I feel I have grown over the years in my ability to let go of expectations but is still so difficult. I was thinking today about what it would be like if I got everything I wanted. Much like a child who got everything they asked for.

If it were up to Tyler, he would eat candy for breakfast, play video games all day, stay-up late and never change his clothes. I can look at that and realize that it is not helpful to him or others for him to get everything he wants. Not that his desires are all bad. He just needs a parent to be there for guidance and to know what is best for him.

What would it be like for me to approach a day like a child who has a parent loving taking care of me. Of course, I can ask for anything I want and many of those things will be granted and good for me. But, I could also have the opportunity to rest in knowing that whatever I receive that day, will be okay. I am safe.

So hear are the things I am really wanting that I am fighting to keep and take control of...

• We leave Friday night to find a house in Seattle. I want to find a house on that trip that I like, that has kids in the neighborhood, that has a community oriented school, has walkable parks, is close to Brian's work, and close to a Church that fits our family
  
• I want to say good-bye well to all my friends. For the kids to feel like they got to say good-bye to all their friends. I want the schedule for the next month to look perfect and balanced in the way that we spend our time so that no one feels left out of spending time with us and that we all get time to take in our "lasts"
• I want Christmas to be awesome and my kids to get all they want and for us to be able to ship it to Seattle without costing more than what we paid for everything
• I want someone to move into our house that will take care of it as well as we do, be good neighbors to the Watkins, and have cute decorative skills
  
• I want to notice when my kids are struggling with these changes and be available to support them. I want to make it as easy as possible for them.
  
• I want to support my husband; to be excited for these changes for him and encourage him to share how he is processing
• I want to love the Watkins well and care for their hearts as they are experiencing this major life change too.
• I want to get rid of all the extra stuff I don't want to move, clean out closets and cabinets and organize/put away all my piles of papers before the movers come.

Obviously, most of those things are good things and they are things we would all want. My stress comes when I think I am the only one that can make these things happen.

"For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:14-15

If you pray, then please pray that God will grant the desires of my heart. But also pray that I will let go of my hold on them realizing that when things don't go as I expect, I have a loving Father that is caring for me.

Bedtime prayers

Tyler started talking about what he wants for his birthday party. This is a common topic of conversation that the boys like to bring up often. This is the first time he has thought of it since realizing we are moving. He started talking about a video game party where all his friends can bring their own gaming systems and they can all play video games all night. He intereuppted himself as he realized he would not be here with his current friends when his birthday comes around in June.

His face fell, "Oh" he said. "I forgot."

"You know what, TYler? I have a prediction. I predict that you will have at least one good friend that you can invite to a video game party for your birthday."

"I hope so."

As I tucked the kids in bed, Tyler communicated his fears again about making friends. "I hope I really have one friend by my birthday."

"Let's pray about it, " I responded.

He prayed that God would give him a good teacher that wasn't mean and that he would have a good friend to play video games with. He then said if he doesn't he hopes he will be okay and will be happy to play video games with Daddy.

Wow! My prayers don't even sound that mature. He prays honestly for what he wants but is quick to add that God would help him be content if his expectations aren't met. Lord, help me to lay my expectations before you and be okay if they are not met.

I moved over to Grayson's bed. He asked if we could pray just like Tyler. He wanted to pray quietly in his head. When he was done I asked what his prayer was and I could hardly keep my laughter in.

"I prayed that I would have a birthday party and that if there were two bad guys there that were not my friends and then one of them punched me in the face and then the other punched me in my face, that I would walk away."

He is such a riot!

When Brian tucked Tyler into bed. Ty asked him if he would play video games on his birthday if Tyler didn't have any friends yet. Brian responded that they could play video games the whole night.

"The whole night?! I hope I don't have any friends by my birthday...well, actually I do."

We all do!

We are Moving!

The boys used to ask me if we would ever move to a new house and I was too quick to answer, no. I told them we would probably always live in this house. I know realize how futile our plans can be and that we really do not know what tomorrow holds.

I never thought we would leave Maplewood and I absolutely did not imagine moving to the other side of the country. We will be two hours from Canada!!!

To read a time line of how the possibility of moving started read here

To read how I've been processing the possibility, read here

Last Wednesday, Brian and I sat down to make a final decision about accepting the offer. It didn't have to be that long of a discussion, as we have hardly talked about anything else for the last few months.

He told his work the next day, his last day will be November 11th. We will leave that night to go to Seattle for a little less than a week to find a rental house.

We told the kids on Friday morning. We took them to donughts, a huge treat for them. Brian started by reminding them of how we have been telling them how awesome Seattle is and they guessed that we were taking them on a trip. We explained we would be living there and they immediately cheered and were very excited. The younger two have maintained that feeling. Grayson is mostly excited about the huge truck that is going to come and take all our stuff...even our bikes.

Tyler's emotions are more complex. His excitement faded when Brian explained he would be going to a new school. The first thing he said was that he didn't want to leave his house. Brian could not hold it together at that point and I had to take the lead. We explained that it is okay to be sad and scared. That is is also okay to be sad and excited at the same time. We talked about the things we were sad to leave but also the things we were excited about. We showed the kids pictures of Seattle and a map and talked more about all the things we can do there. Tyler summarized it up: "I feel mostly excited, a little scared and a little sad."

We then drove to the Pumpkin Patch and had the best time. The weather was gorgeous and Brian and I smiled more than we have in a long time. There was such a huge weight lifted off after telling them. We knew they would be fine. Brian might still be struggling with a little guilt...he bought us the biggest pumpkin I've ever had. It really was fun.

On the way home from the Pumpkin Patch we started singing "God is so good." Grayson added versus he's learned at preschool one of which was "God gives us friends." Tyler exlaimed, "That's the one we really need to sing because we are going to need God to give us new friends in Seattle." So we all sang it together. I then asked them what other things we needed to ask God to give us for Seattle. Tyler responded, "God gives us hope" and "God makes us strong."

I am beyond thankful for those conversations and confirmation that God will use this in my children's lives to show them how they can turn to God when they are scared, how he goes before us and that they can trust Him. These are the very things I am having to cling to as well.

Time is moving fast. We have less than six week until we move and 2 of those weeks we will be out of town. That means I have four weeks left in my house and four weeks left to say good-bye. It all seems very unreal at times.

Annabelle's 3rd Birthday

I have been known to go overboard on my children's birthday parties. I love planning any party and I especially love celebrating my babies. I love anything kid themed and it really does bring me joy for them to feel celebrated in a big way.

Annabelle's party was no exception to my inability to find moderation. It was really over the top. It had much to do with my baby girl becoming a little girl, the fact that she is a girl and girls parties are SOO fun, and the fact that I was stressed about the possible move to Seattle so I used the party as an escape. Regardless of all the reasons, I had so much fun searching on line for ideas, getting ready and eventually showing it all off to her.

The party was a Flower Fairy Party. We started a week before the party setting up a Fairy Garden in our backyard with hopes that some Fairies might find it and come to her party. All the kids got involved in designing it and Tyler even made a sign out of tree bark and nailed it to the tree. All his idea!

The colors and patterns for the party were based off Annabelle's dress that I found last spring at a consignment sale. I used just 2 yards of fabric for table runners, center pieces, banners and napkins.

Tissue paper flowers hung from the trees and around the banner I made from scrapbook paper. I also made Fairy wands by wrapping kaboob skewers with floral tape and adding a tissue paper flower to then end with floral wire along with ribbons and a jingle bell. The shook their wands around the yard while we went on a "Fairy Hunt"



We served brunch: 3 different kinds of mini quiches, baked oatmeal muffins, yogurt parfaits with raspberry purree, fresh veggies and fruit.

We had pink lemonade for the kids and Momosas for the grown-ups. Brian broke out the beer but drank it with pink straws to keep with the theme.

The little girls table sat under the tree canopy of tissue paper flowers, lights and tulle. The chairs were covered with pillow cases and ribbon.

At each spot were small watering cans used as place holders. Each can was filled with hummus and a veggie bouquet. The napkin rings were tissue paper flowers on hair rubber bands that the girls used as bracelets.





Flowered hair garlands waited for each of the girls on the backs of their chairs.



The highlight of the party was when the "Real" Fairy showed up to read a story and paint faces. This was an 8th grade friend of ours who did a fantastic job. Annabelle still thinks a real fairy came to her party.



The other favorites were getting nails painted, going on a fairy wing hunt, potting a flower in their own small pot, and ordering cupcakes and other pretend food from Annabelle's Sweet Shop.

Obviously, Annabelle had a great time, as did we all.

This will be a tough party to top...not that I need to try!