Tuesday, October 29, 2013

6 days

Six days can feel much longer than 144 hours.  Time is measured differently when you feel what you're doing will matter for eternity.  This week felt like it mattered. 

This is why I think it mattered...

I sacrificed more than I usually do.
For example...I gave up sleep (I really love to sleep) to wake up earlier than normal and greet a sweet boy who woke up asking where mom was (meaning me).  I woke up cheerfully, gladly giving up something that would make me happy to make sure this little boy knew he was welcomed even in the early morning. 

My children sacrificed more than they usually do. 
At one point Tyler and I had a conversation about how it was challenging not to have my full attention every time he wanted it.  He smiled in agreement as we talked about what a great opportunity this was for him to think of someone before himself. 

My kids willingly shared their toys.  I wasn't sure that was going to happen; especially from my youngest who hasn't had to share much and doesn't come by that spirit naturally. 

Brian sacrificed
but I feel like he is always sacrificing...he is just naturally less selfish than the rest of us.  He was super gracious to me as I was overwhelmed and more snippy toward him than usual. Adding a fourth kid to the process of getting shoes on and getting out the door on time is much more than adding one more kid.  Returning to the 2 year old stage is also an adjustment.  It hasn't been that long but its amazing how quickly you forget you need to pack diapers, snacks, sippy-cup, change of clothes.  Oh, and you can't open doors, buckle yourself in, and you refuse to stay close to me in public?  Why do you say NO to everything?

Our family was a team on a mission
a mission to make this little boy feel loved.  We all knew that was our job, even the kids.  I've never been more proud of my kids.  Each night they all sat and listened to Grayson read him a bedtime story and hugged him good-night  After I labored to convince him it was time to sleep, I would finally get to their rooms for tuck-ins.  It felt like a celebration.  "Wow, guys! Another incredible day of loving on K.  You guys were amazing."  And they were.  They gave up playing games they normally play to give him their attention.  At one point, Tyler came home with a book from the library he couldn't wait to read. So, he sat down next to K to read his book, just so he could be near him and keep an eye on him.  When K would scream and fuss as soon as he saw a toy he wanted the kids would say, "Say my turn please" before they would give it to him. 

My kids focused on someone other than themselves
Now, I know the novelty of the whole experience can explain much of this and I know that if we take a longer placement it will not be this like this the whole time.  But I really just couldn't get over how great it is when my kids are focusing on someone else more than themselves.  Even Annabelle said, "we don't cause as many problems with each other." She was basically saying, they weren't arguing as much among each other.  They weren't.  This reason alone is enough to make me burst out signing as I have no patience for the bickering between my kids. 

A community stepped in
We had friends bring us meals, call to check on us, send thoughtful texts, carpool my kids, and come babysit when I needed to be in Tyler's class. 

Awareness was raised
My kids have a greater understanding of the reality that many people are without the daily needs we take for granted.  There is a face associated with not having a place to live.  I was able to have conversations with my kids' friends explaining that K's mom did not have a place to live when they would ask why he was living here.

Almost 500 people read my last blog post.  Whaaat?! I hope that means somewhere close to that many people checked out safe-families.org.  I had multiple conversations with neighbors, friends and strangers about Safe Families for Children.  I've had a few people mention they have thought about doing something similar.  Some of those conversations led to sharing the main reason we do this...because Jesus lavished his love on us when we were messy so it feels natural for us to do the same. 

A little boy was safe for 144 hours
It was an honor to be a part of this boys' story.  It was an honor to hold him in my arms and rock him while I prayed that neurons were firing and connections were being made in his brain that would allow him to believe he is worthy and special and loved.  Even if we never get to tell him we love him again, I pray that there is some part of him that will be reached by 6 days of Team Janous giving him all the love we have. 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Safe Families

Today, I did a very normal thing.  I drove down the highway with my three kids.  But it didn't feel very normal. In fact, it felt like one of the most significant moments of my life.  Colors looked more vibrant, the sun felt brighter, all my moves felt slow and memorable.  Each sense was heightened and I knew this moment was being imprinted into my memory. 

Because my three kids and I were driving to pick up a 2 year old boy who has no where to live.  Just for six days, this precious boy will live in our house.  My kids will share their toys, share meals, and sacrifice for a boy they've never met. 

Because our family has joined the ministry Safe Families for Children

We've shared with just a few friends over the summer that we were praying about whether God was leading us in this direction.  Its hard to know how to share with more family and friends on a larger scale.  Returning to blogging is my best attempt.

I wish I had had the time to journal over the last few months the process we have been on and the journey that led us here.  Hopefully, there will be time to share that later. 

For now you can go to Safe-families.org to find out more about the organization.  There are some great video clips that provide a quick summary of the program, including one from Katie Couric. 

In short, it is a ministry to protect children from child abuse and neglect, keep kids from entering the foster care system, and encourage families.  Parents struggling with any type of crises (from homelessness, hospitalization, unemployment, incarceration, rehab, etc) request that their child/children be placed in with a host family that can provide a stable place for the children while the family makes steps for change in their life.  The parent keeps sole custody of the child and can ask for them back at anytime.  The host family is one part of a team of people that surround the family like an extended family would, providing friendship and support. 

Today has been an incredible day.  I can't tell you how much we love this boy.  The kids have been incredibly sweet and helpful.  Of course, the novelty of it helps.  He was very shy and reserved at first, he wouldn't even look at me when I picked him up from his volunteer case worker.  I had all the kids in the car thanks to a power outage in our neighborhood today letting them out of school.  They filled a small container of toys he could play with and Annabelle picked out books to read him.  She sat next to him for the 30 minute car ride showing him toys and laughing with him. 

When we brought him home, we showed him around and he, of course, was enthralled with the toy room.  He found a lazer gun and began shooting all of us while we dramatically fell to the ground.  That's when we got to see his big smile and hear a big laugh.  After a 3 hour nap and the kids asking 15 times when he was going to wake up, he woke up super happy and comfortable.  He gave us all hugs throughout the night. 

This feels so right.  I know a longer term placement would be much harder but I feel up for that.  We have taken a big jump as a family to follow God into a messy place and love messy people in messy situations.  Living out there on the edge of my comfort zone and in a place where I feel stretched and used by God is where I want to live.