What if we got everything we wanted?

When things don't go the way I expect them, instead of going with the flow, I tend to fight harder for control. This, of course, does not help. If I can't make one thing go my way then I push to make something else go my way. All the while forgetting that I do not need to fight for control. There is another option.

I have approached this move with the knowledge that I needed to let go of expectations. I knew there would be many things once we got there that would be hard and that I would need to be open to accept whatever. I had not thought about how many expectations I had about the move process.

I have a good friend that has moved her family across the world...twice. She is a great source of wisdom for me. She was sharing with me recently how she is learning that expectations are usually never a good thing. They set us up for disappointment and prevent us from seeing the blessing we have in front of us.

My mother-in-law has always said something similar about expectations in relationships. She reflects on how most arguments and relationship strife come from unmet (and often unfair or uncommunicated) expectations.

I believe these wise women in my life and I want to learn from them. I feel I have grown over the years in my ability to let go of expectations but is still so difficult. I was thinking today about what it would be like if I got everything I wanted. Much like a child who got everything they asked for.

If it were up to Tyler, he would eat candy for breakfast, play video games all day, stay-up late and never change his clothes. I can look at that and realize that it is not helpful to him or others for him to get everything he wants. Not that his desires are all bad. He just needs a parent to be there for guidance and to know what is best for him.

What would it be like for me to approach a day like a child who has a parent loving taking care of me. Of course, I can ask for anything I want and many of those things will be granted and good for me. But, I could also have the opportunity to rest in knowing that whatever I receive that day, will be okay. I am safe.

So hear are the things I am really wanting that I am fighting to keep and take control of...

• We leave Friday night to find a house in Seattle. I want to find a house on that trip that I like, that has kids in the neighborhood, that has a community oriented school, has walkable parks, is close to Brian's work, and close to a Church that fits our family
  
• I want to say good-bye well to all my friends. For the kids to feel like they got to say good-bye to all their friends. I want the schedule for the next month to look perfect and balanced in the way that we spend our time so that no one feels left out of spending time with us and that we all get time to take in our "lasts"
• I want Christmas to be awesome and my kids to get all they want and for us to be able to ship it to Seattle without costing more than what we paid for everything
• I want someone to move into our house that will take care of it as well as we do, be good neighbors to the Watkins, and have cute decorative skills
  
• I want to notice when my kids are struggling with these changes and be available to support them. I want to make it as easy as possible for them.
  
• I want to support my husband; to be excited for these changes for him and encourage him to share how he is processing
• I want to love the Watkins well and care for their hearts as they are experiencing this major life change too.
• I want to get rid of all the extra stuff I don't want to move, clean out closets and cabinets and organize/put away all my piles of papers before the movers come.

Obviously, most of those things are good things and they are things we would all want. My stress comes when I think I am the only one that can make these things happen.

"For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:14-15

If you pray, then please pray that God will grant the desires of my heart. But also pray that I will let go of my hold on them realizing that when things don't go as I expect, I have a loving Father that is caring for me.