Do you want to move to Seattle?

Frequently, when we have told friends of our potential move to Seattle, they ask if we want to go. It has the appearance of a simple question but every time I am asked, I freeze. I don't know how to answer.

Ask me, "Do you feel like this is the right thing for your family?" "Do you feel like you'll be able to find peace there?" "Do you think this is the right job for Brian?" "Do you think this is an opportunity you can't pass up?"

Easy questions. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

"So do you WANT to move there?" I guess my honest response would be no. No, I don't want to leave the many incredible, deep friendships I have here. No, I don't want to leave living with my cousins and sharing everyday life with them. No, I don't want Tyler to miss having his cousin Casey as part of his daily life. No, I don't want to move to a state that touches Canada and is difficult for friends and family to reach. No, I don't want to leave our incredible school district and community. No, I don't want to leave my house with its big backyard, beautiful master bedroom, quiet tree house porch, great neighbors, and all things walkable. No, I don't want to leave my church where I have been mentored, challenged, changed, supported and loved... where my kids have all been baptized by name, known and loved. No, I don't like change and I never dreamed we would change our life in this way. No, I don't want to leave what is safe and comfortable.

I am afraid. I am afraid of change. I am afraid God won't be good. I am afraid of being lonely. I am afraid of how this will affect Tyler. I am afraid of being forgotten.

Yet, I am ready to go.

This is right. This is good. And, whether I believe it fully or not, GOD IS GOOD. He will not abandon me or my family. He is not taking all this away to be cruel. I am taking each step forward based on what I know to be true of God, even though my heart does not FEEL safe.

"All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen." Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is my biggest prayer. That I would more fully believe that I can trust God to take care of me. And, that regardless of if I want to move, I would move with a heart that is at peace.